Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Teen Wolf

I was driving a six seater at the time of this bizarre hire. I picked up 5 males and 1 female, all around 18 or 19yo, from Royal Exchange Square. The were heading out Hamilton Road to just short of the old Calderpark Zoo.
It was an incident free journey and none of the passengers were any trouble. I did sense however, that they may not have been drunk, but flying high on something else.
We arrived at the destination (they were all getting out together) and was paid without any problems. I seem to recall getting a decent tip into the bargain. Job done. Happy days.
As I began to turn around to head back towards the city one of the group stepped up onto my front bumper, climbed up the bonnet and lay spread eagle on the windscreen. My guess was that he was looking to get some sort of reaction from me, so I nonchalantly continued my maneuver, very slowly, until I was facing back towards Glagsow. I stopped to allow him to get off, now that the joke was over. (Ha ha, very funny, good one)
Not only did he not get off, but one of his friends now climbs onto the back of the cab and somehow pulls himself up onto the roof. My first reaction was to separate myself from the rest of their group to prevent any more of them joining in. I drove slowly down the road for 100 yards or so and again stopped to allow them to get off.
10 seconds pass and they are not for budging and in my mirrors I can see the rest of them start to head down the road in my direction.


My visibility impaired by my former passengers groin, I moved up through the gears cautiously. I had reached about 40 or 45 mph and I wasn't certain that the guy on the roof was still up there. Surfing like Teen Wolf or clinging to the begging light with white knuckles I wonder. He wasn't moving about any more that's for sure.
The road was deserted but I hoped to eventually come across a police car or at least another taxi to assist with my predicament.
I was now face to face with the guy on the windscreen (he didn't look too happy) and it was apparent that he was slowly but surely slipping further and further down the bonnet. Before long I could only see the top of his head and his hands gripping the windscreen wipers like his life depended on it. His life did depend on it and if he was to have lost his grip I didn't really want to be responsible for killing the guy. I slowed to a stop as smoothly as possible and when we came to a halt the other guy jumps from the roof onto the bonnet (leaving a substantial dent) and down off the cab. As I pulled away they both made pretty decent efforts to punch through the side windows but thankfully without success.
I was a bit annoyed at their reaction, after all, I had probably just saved at least one of their lives.

The zoo may have been closed for a number of years now, but quite clearly the animals are still living in the area.

I hope you enjoyed the walk home boys. Next time it will be an Emergency Stop and I will quite happily watch you bounce down the road.


  1. I am the only one who has had a poor service from black private taxi cab drivers in Glasgow recently, poor grasp of the language (Scots) plus a chip on their shoulders comes to mind, next time I will report them to Glasgow council and see if this helps???? Given the way the council work I guess this could be pointless,

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